Tony 2 Toes has been in town and it was my duty as his former cubicle compadre to make a mission to Vfest to meet up with him and his lady friends, succumb to being under the influence, take a bit of pneumonia for the team and pass out in a soggy tent – the ultimate festival experience.
Fortunately, before Tony was too inebriated, he had the foresight to pitch his tent (the literal one) as far away from the porta potties as humanly possible, so that we weren’t going to be woken by a river of faecal matter – unlike some unlucky other buggers!
The trick to festival participation, even more so in England, is Gumboots! if you don’t have these items, you’re screwed – hindsight is ideal… my shoes are currently undergoing their 7th wash.
Saturday started off sooo positively, watched some One Republic, immaturely finished off all my sentences with: “well, you know what? I’m sick of this Tony! It’s too late to apologise!” and then I would break out into high-pitched song…
We made tracks to the main stage, rocked out with Lenny Kravitz and uncle Strongbow – the best part about England – its considered manly to drink cider! Smashed a few of those puppies in my face and by the time Amy Winegums arrived on stage (half an hour late mind you), I was already starting to fall asleep standing up. It’s my new thing, the ability to sleep while standing!
2 Toes did his bit to keep me awake, but I was having none of it! He eventually lost me on an alcohol pilgrimage, my sleep radar had been fully activated and somehow I ended back in tentland where all of the tents were locked, except for one… the good old storage tent – we would later chant its name.
I felt like Goldilocks, except this tent was too small, cold, and predictably – uncomfortable! But I loved every minute of it!
the next morning Tony regretted the lemon he squeezed in his eyeball whilst shnarfing the tequila…