It's coming up to a year since Hobbo and I embarked on the Tour d' Pom and the adventures have been pretty rad, with the fancy dress having flowed hard.
2009 has been naas. Took a breather to 'find myself' in India – not only did I find myself, found some Spice, got crabs, and learnt to Jolly Bolly my ass off.
Arrived in Mumbai, and with the Lonely Planet in hand, cruised to Goa. Train-ing it was the budget option, but a luxury cabin was lookin good with A/C and own space.
However, I cocked up my order and managed to book proper 3rd class cabin – I
was expecting chickens. I wasn't expecting buggers jumping on the train while it was moving…
'When in Rome', so I proceeded to run alongside the train, jumped into a carriage and ended up sitting on the floor for a solid 12 hours. I cracked after about an hour and, when I stood up to prevent the deep vein thrombosis from setting in, the injins went mental – obviously weren't used to spotting a foreigner in 3rd class. Their sentences comprised cricket names: 'Oh, you South Africa? Graeme Smith, Jacques Kallis, Jonty Rhodes!' Fanatical
When I made it to Goa, it was operation Chillax to the Max. Sun, sand, cocktails. English weather has done me no favours – pastier than a Cornish pie, the locals abused my whiteness. 3rd degree sunburn soon sorted me out and I had the Robster lobster look in no time. My days consisted of sleep, a visit to Dudhsagar Falls to see some monkey mating, dropping in on a spice farm or two, scoped out a cashew nut factory sweat shop that would get Derek and Ruda rather MozamBLEAK.
Cruised around on the back of motorbikes, jumped in the occassional Tuk Tuk that i constantly prayed would make it to my destination without becoming fook fooked.
Was chillin like a villain really, but decided to spend my last weekend in Mumbai, in order to absorb some Bolly rhythm. Hit up some cheesy-ass club that was playing Western music and the locals were diggin it, lank! Bollywood isn't a lie – Indians dance like they do in the movies. Awesome!
I've started to incorporate some of the moves I learnt on my travels, into some London nights out – Hobbo's not a fan – he reckons the chicks aren't a fan of the 'cheesy-grin-jazzhands' combo either.
When I arrived back in London, I subsequently moved into my new mansion with my LP and Julian 'Big J/The Hands/ Bean Counter/ Wrestlemania Addict' Reeve. From sweltering heat to forkloads of snow, we survived the blizzards, made snowmen and eventually welcomed the neighbours, in traditional fancy dress style.
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