Secret Santa

Silly Season is well and truly upon us. There are fairy lights on every corner and all of the melodic choons that are buried deep within the subconscious are those of a festive nature – there’s no more ‘Single Ladies’ when I bust out a beat in the shower at night, but rather something with sleigh bells, reindeer or a variety of ‘ting ting alings’. Ah, these are happy times!

Why the polar ice caps are melting - cos this dickhead decided to compete in the fairy light wars!

Why the polar ice caps are melting - cos this dickhead decided to compete in the fairy light wars!

The best part about Debaucherous December is that everyone’s on the same wavelength as you. As the poms so eloquently put it, ‘you can’t be arsed’. You don’t give two father Christmas’s about work – you’re either hanging from last night’s Xmas party, or looking forward to smashing copious amounts of liquor in your FACE at tomorrow’s.

December - a fantastic time to buy shares in *this* company

December - a fantastic time to buy shares in *this* company

The ultimate part of these festivities, however, is not transforming your brain into a Spongebob Squarepants look-alike, but rather when you get to exchange presents and participate in a little Secret Santa action.

I love Secret Santa – it combines two of the most amazing concepts – secrets, and a jolly fat man who likes to sneak into your home, eat your cookies and drink your dad’s beer. On Saturday, my Santa was a goody. He knew when I’d been streaking, or getting out my snake. He knew when I’d been bad or good, so check this gift out for goodness sake…

The Incredible Crawtch

The Incredible Crawtch

Thanks for the inflatable crotch enhancer Santa 🙂

Love you long time! x

*Remember to have a designated Dave this festive season all you kool kats. By all means, get ruined, but get home safely. Castle has a fantastic campaign on at the moment to encourage responsible driving. Click on the link if you plan to get trolleyed and need to be driven home in your unattractively paralytic state!

Even your mother wont love you in this state, but Castle / SACAB will get you home sunshine

Even your mother won't love you in this state, but Castle / SACAB will get you home sunshine

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  • Nic Callegari on Dec 8th 2009 at 11:34

    Just dusting off me “Fuck it” stamp as we speak.

  • SlickTiger on Dec 8th 2009 at 11:48

    Inflatible crotch enhancer?!

    Never use that. The sheer masiveness of your crotch will block out the sun and bring about the next Ice Age.

    Don’t say I didn’t warn ya…

    -ST

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