The Colleague that nobody likes

‘Every office comprises one douche that nobody frikkin likes’ – Mike Sharman

Yesterday started off pretty menacingly. The atmosphere had been flaking the cold white stuff all over the show and I nearly lost a few digits to frostbite after the impromptu snowball showdown that I had with Hobbo in the middle of the street.

Our aim was to build a ginormous snow penis to greet the children of the suburb, as opposed to the stereotypical yawn-invoking snowman, and for me to have the day off.

London Transport has trouble operating trains through heavy white stuff and as per my Facebook status, ‘I was hoping for a snow day : ‘working from home’ under a duvet, watching a bit of crickey, but sadly the fantasy was squashed when the bosslady arrived at my front door with her snow tyres on…’

It was #NI (Not Ideal), but at least I had respite from sardining myself with the poor people on public transport for a day and I felt like a pimp with the CEO chauffeuring me through west London. This, however, was little consolation for having to spend the cold, dark, day with ‘The Colleague’.

‘The Colleague’ is the person that nobody frikkin likes. If talking was a cellphone package, it would have the one with unlimited text/sms and about 6,000 anytime minutes. You can’t fucken shut it up. It’s an eye specialist: I did this, I’m better than you at that, I once made a YouTube video that had more hits than Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent audition.

‘Shut.The.Fuck.Up! Nobody cares what your godson ate for breakfast. It’s people like this who give the kind of work I do, a bad name. When I tell people I work in PR, they either question my sexuality or ask if I picked my career out of a cereal box.

PR is not seen as a cool profession. It’s not synonymous with doing body shots of cocaine off the secretary’s washboard stomach while coming up with creative ideas – it is seen as a a load of bullshit.

In the past it’s been quite easy for these charlatans to hide within teams while they conduct flattery fornication with the powers-that-be to ensure job security, while their mouths continue to spew utter crud. However, God is good and invented things like the internet and social media so that we could blacken their names and spit on their Facebook pages.

(*rant MORE*) Ahh, much better. Thanks for listening guys. Feel free to post your experiences with your ‘The Colleague’ who has made a fuckshow of your place of work, in the comments. Hell, forward the above post to relevant perpetrators, make sure to attach the below image and lets drive these douchebags out of town…

Sparklers make me happy!

Today there is lot of contingent situation which force individuals to take medicaments. You can get medicines from the comfort of your office. Last ten years there are divers medicines to treat dementia, anxiety disorder or combustion. Certain medicines are used to prevent bronchitis in people with weak immune systems caused by cancer treatment. There are medicines intended only for them. What about side effects of cialis for daily use and sexual health problems? What do you already know about cialis daily side effects? Probably you already know something about it. Sexual soundness problems can usually indicate problems elsewhere. Low libido isn’t the same as impotency, but a lot of similar aspects that stifle an erection can also reduce your libido. One way to resolve erectile disfunction is to make few foolproof lifestyle changes, another is drug. Lifestyle changes take season, but the results are worthwhile. Preparatory to ordering Cialis or other treatment, speak to your doctor if you are allergic to it. Talk to your heartiness care vocational for more details. Sure, online pharmacy can easy help you for solving your all personal problems.

  • nicolascallegari on Jan 7th 2010 at 11:51

    Luckily, Tribeca is one of the very few places on Earth where “The Colleague” is just a myth. Unless *I’m* the colleague and nobody’s let on yet. Oh shit.

  • donovan on Jan 7th 2010 at 12:04

    mmmm….yep, I’m the colleague as well. Dammit.

  • SlickTiger on Jan 7th 2010 at 12:34

    Ahh, work, what a beautiful thing.

    It forces us to not only interact 5 days out of 7 with the kind of people you wouldn’t normally piss on if they were on fire, but to pretend that you actually like it.

    Me, I’m lucky – ol’ El Guapo is right “The Colleague” doesn’t exist at Tribeca, I’m happy to interact with the people I work with and consider most of them my friends in real life too, but I’ve worked with douchebags in the past.

    There’s only one way to deal with “The Colleague” and it’s death. Kill ’em! Kill ’em all!

    -ST

  • acidicice on Jan 7th 2010 at 01:06

    While reading the article I was considering forwarding it to ‘The Colleague’ and then realized I would be wasting my time. She won’t even realize that it is aimed at her.

    *facepalm*

  • Mike on Jan 7th 2010 at 01:12

    Slick, Calamari! The reason why TPR doesn’t have a ‘The Colleague’ was because I left in April 2008 😉

    I guess it’s Karma, but now I am off to rectify the past and bludgeon someone to death…

    … with my keyboard!

  • Mike on Jan 7th 2010 at 01:25

    Acidicice – I suggest a similar remedy for your headaches. Don’t underestimate the resilience of a keyboard. They are ideal for multiple douche strikes!

  • uberVU – social comments on Jan 7th 2010 at 10:33

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by bettyludgate: http://bit.ly/6oyWI7 this is BRILLIANT @mikesharman…

  • The Peanut Butter Game | Sharman and Hobbo on Jan 15th 2010 at 01:48

    […] dinner with some colleagues last night. We managed to keep our rendezvous on the downlow from ‘The Colleague’, thank […]

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