I was reading this post by my good buddy, Slick Tiger. It details his most EpicFierce work hangover, and served as timely inspiration for Friday night tomfoolery.
Last week was Nelly Retardo, and it culminated in an emotional farewell bonanza. The ‘Global Economic Climate’ has had its casualties but its only when the lines between colleague and friend have blurred that you really appreciate the impact of redundancy.
The Dee taught us that the best way to deal with the big ‘R’ is to go ‘bombing’, but sweet, baby Jesus, she had no idea how much of a mess I was about to make of myself.
I’m generally an amorous drunk – you get bombarded with hugs, I drop the ‘L’ word (on males and females alike), and, on special occasions, you may even get treated to a free anteater show.
This was as special as they come (pun intended), and after downing three quarters of a bottle of wine, the circus was most certainly in town. Those expired grapes etched a rich blackness into my memory that will never be repaired. Binge, cocksposure, powernap, binge, karaoke, powernap, powernap, powernap…
The worst part about being the most fucked person at a razzle dazzle is that there is always someone out there ready to help you decode how much of a cock you really were, the next time you see each other sober.
Below is a recollection of scenes from the filthiest man I have ever had the pleasure of co-existing with in a work or human environment – Mike Warburton (aka The Actor)
"Lord only knows how many times I was subjected to your tally-whacker
on Fri night. Jesus. If I ever witness as many women begging a man to
do UP his jeans and NOT remove his doomhammer for their enjoyment and
edification, I'll be going some!! Extraordinary. I presume you flashed
the old schwanzstucker in everyone's face at karaoke? Can you remember
ANYTHING from Fri night??!!"
*I don't pull the memory loss card, as a get out of jail free option. I'm well aware that my tackle was on full display and there was even the likelihood that I tried to insert said 'doomhammer' into the ear holes of one, possibly two co-workers. The lesson here folks? As long as you don't get too wizasted and poke someone's eye out with the Purple Avenger, sometimes it's quite cathartic to get properly SLAMMED!
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