I arrived back in Joziwood yesterday after one of the most EpicFierce weekends of my life. The Hashim Amla song (‘He’s bald, he’s feared, he has a cool beard – Hashim Amla’) went global, I consumed more beer in five days than I have in my entire life, and Castle Lager managed to organise our attendance at what will surely go down as the greatest match at the Cricket World Cup 2011.
There was a helluva lot of pressure going into that match. Especially on my Superfan outfit. After hours of consultation with local experts, I decided to slap the following, sexy lil number together:
My roommate – Stan ‘The Big Spoon’ – called it. When we waved at the team bus passing us to the stadium, Robbie P looked cooler than Alaskan ice.
Stan turned to me and said: ‘Robbie P’s gonna win this game for us’.
I choked a little bit on the chicken tikka I was smashing in my face at that moment and suggested he lie down – hallucinations in India can be a mofo! Eight hours later, I was pretty sure someone had slipped acid into my packaged (not bottled) water when good ol’ Robbie P got out the 9-iron and pitched Ashish into the stands and marvelled at his own backswing. We suddenly had a new hero, and more importantly – a new song:
‘He’s cool, he’s Robbie, we’re going to suck his knobbie – Robbbbiiiieeeeee PPPPPP!’
I was critical of the performance against England – tough conditions, indeed, but we lacked the guts required to win a World Cup. After Saturday’s efforts, we proved we have the guts and the nuts to go on and win this thing.
Stick it in deep boys!
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