Just reading that title should give you the jeebies of a heebies’ nature.

FML! I haven’t had to meet a girl’s dad in a very, long, time – sometimes it’s better to date girls from dysfunctional families. There aren’t usually dads around.

Dads are awkward to deal with. They know how you think. They’ve been *you* in those situations, trying to convince the fairer sex – via the whispering of sweet nothings – the pros and pros of installing wall-to-wall mirrors in the master bedroom…

… Oi! That’s his little girl you’re having those negotiations with, mister!

Anyhoo, so the minute I met the not-so-old, Old Man (gotta cover my bases in case he reads this). I sweated a LOT on the inside, and a lot more on the outside. The dude is a man-mountain – he could toil agricultural lands with his bare hands. He told me that if I hurt his little girl, he will break me. All of me. I believed him.

We had an opportunity to bond further when he was in town two weeks ago. We did the ‘hang with grandparents tea vibe’ – ya things are moving on quite seriously 😉

Old Man had briefed me that his in-laws were not in the know about his smoking habits so I had an opportunity to prove myself and prove myself I did.

Departure time from granny and grandpa’s house; me in driver’s seat with Old Man to my left. Old Man’s wife, ma’laydee and sister in backseat. I’m playing chauffeur-chauffeur – instant man-points.

Granny leans through my window to say cheery-bye. I spot a rogue box of Old Man’s ciggies in my periph, strategically positioned below the handbrake. I stealthily maneuver my left hand over said handbrake to prevent granny from seeing the ciggies. RESULT!

Old Man breathes a sigh of relief.

Old Man: ‘ You have fast hands!’

Me: [looking to backseat and then back to Old Man] ‘That’s what she said!’

Old Man: *ROFLOL*

Me: *Even more man-points*

Phew. That went well. I get to see Old Man again this weekend. Stay tuned for more adventures folks.

Be safe and enjoy the holidays y’all!


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  • Murray on Apr 21st 2011 at 04:09

    When meeting the girl’s mom for the first time, it took me about 2 minutes to break her iphone a-la-showing-off. In front of the dad. Not ideal! Those ten seconds of hard reset felt an eternity. And wishing all the way that the reset wouldn’t kill all the contacts on the phone..

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