Just reading that title should give you the jeebies of a heebies’ nature.
FML! I haven’t had to meet a girl’s dad in a very, long, time – sometimes it’s better to date girls from dysfunctional families. There aren’t usually dads around.
Dads are awkward to deal with. They know how you think. They’ve been *you* in those situations, trying to convince the fairer sex – via the whispering of sweet nothings – the pros and pros of installing wall-to-wall mirrors in the master bedroom…
… Oi! That’s his little girl you’re having those negotiations with, mister!
Anyhoo, so the minute I met the not-so-old, Old Man (gotta cover my bases in case he reads this). I sweated a LOT on the inside, and a lot more on the outside. The dude is a man-mountain – he could toil agricultural lands with his bare hands. He told me that if I hurt his little girl, he will break me. All of me. I believed him.
We had an opportunity to bond further when he was in town two weeks ago. We did the ‘hang with grandparents tea vibe’ – ya things are moving on quite seriously 😉
Old Man had briefed me that his in-laws were not in the know about his smoking habits so I had an opportunity to prove myself and prove myself I did.
Departure time from granny and grandpa’s house; me in driver’s seat with Old Man to my left. Old Man’s wife, ma’laydee and sister in backseat. I’m playing chauffeur-chauffeur – instant man-points.
Granny leans through my window to say cheery-bye. I spot a rogue box of Old Man’s ciggies in my periph, strategically positioned below the handbrake. I stealthily maneuver my left hand over said handbrake to prevent granny from seeing the ciggies. RESULT!
Old Man breathes a sigh of relief.
Old Man: ‘ You have fast hands!’
Me: [looking to backseat and then back to Old Man] ‘That’s what she said!’
Old Man: *ROFLOL*
Me: *Even more man-points*
Phew. That went well. I get to see Old Man again this weekend. Stay tuned for more adventures folks.
Be safe and enjoy the holidays y’all!
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