It’s time to stop being a fatty

I’m turning 30 this year. I’m having one of those quarter life crises. Yes I’m going to be 120, smartass.

I look at my body in the mirror. I no longer see the chiseled physique of a lunatic launching himself – naked – into the Adriatic (Google image search: ‘Mike Sharman throws out a vibe’ NSFW) but rather a chubster that ate one too many Tinkie’s at primary school aftercare.

I blame starting a business. That’s what ‘us’ fatties do. We blame stuff. The size of my love handles is directly proportional to the length of my startup phase.

All of that is about to change. I don’t do resolutions, but the day that entries opened for Half Iron Man at the end of January 2013, I signed up for the 26 January 2014 edition.

half-iron-man

Half Iron Man: No, it’s not the prequel to your favourite movie franchise

Here’s the vibe:

  • 1.9 Km swim
  • 90 Km cycle
  • 21 Km run

Effectively 300m more than a Midmar, an Argus, and a half marathon consecutively. And that’s only HALF of the ‘real’ event.

I have never ridden a bike competitively – except if you count one of those plastic black ones in nursery school. I have never participated in a triathlon and up until the last Run Jozi, the furthest I had run was 4Km… in a speedo. For the pervs out there, go wild on the Google Image search to take you closer to the weekend / the big O.

I have my trusty pair of Nike trainers, but am in desperate need of a bike, one of those sexy aerodynamic hats (read: helmets) cleats,and the sexy racing gear that is required to be awesome at these kind of events. Wink-wink, nudge x 3, to any relevant brands out there reading this post 😉

The only thing really going for me at the moment is that I have the best training partner money can’t buy. Thanks for the patience Muzza.

I won’t let 30 consume me. I will get fit and I will finish those 70.3 miles and I will raise money along the way for charity. More about that coming soon.

And if you’re keen to join me on the crusade to conquer calories, register here

Go home fat. You’re drunk!

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  • Noelani on May 24th 2013 at 07:52

    I am so tempted to enter just to lose the fat! lol. But I haven’t ridden a bike since I was.. 12? Would have taken you on the black motorbikes as kids though. I was a machine! Good luck with the training!

  • Digiguru on May 24th 2013 at 07:52

    Good luck, why don;t you start with a calm Friday night ride next weekend in Jozi?

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