Blog Archives

Friday awesomeness

I’m particularly swamp-donkeyed and Nelly Retardo today, but I just have to share this Friday awesomeness special with you that encapsulates the vibe of Jozi. Capetonian haters be prepared to...

Happy Phuza Thesday!

I dig this song lank, and the music video is pretty Swedish. Have a gander and read the lyrics. Makes you think, innit? I ain’t got no home, ain’t got no shoes Ain’t got no money,...

[Untitled]

This isn’t a happy post. There are no mentions of pugs or penises or any of the usual BS that I manage to cram into the 300-odd words that I scrape together for my (and hopefully your)...

Breaking News!

Fan-fucking-tastic news. I have sourced a company that makes man-size slippery slides and is willing to rent one to me for my Hippo Birdy 2 Ewe Dui(ker). Shame! Keep 18 September free. I am...

Mr EpicFail!

Friday was wrapped in pure awesomeness. It had been a long week, so when the clock ticked over to 4pm I said ‘Pace out’ to the orifice, busted out and picked up SB for a little...

The filthiest chick in the land

Spending time in the UK did absolutely nothing for my potty mouth. Poms drop the ‘C-bomb’ more frequently than they smile, and it’s practically a term of endearment to call your...

Put your (week)end away

‘The most economical way to rock out with your cock out, is to win competitions and hit up events for free’ – Dr Ovious Lea I didn’t have to put too much thought into my...

Friday advice: How to make yourself lank desirable to women

Hi Team, Thank fishcakes it’s Friday. Before you pack away your laptops for the weekend and head out for a session of binge-drinking and memory loss, remember the old adage: ‘A...

Every girls’ dream

I managed to speak to some people who know some people who were organising a MasterCard ‘Road to New Zealand’ event, and I mosey’d on down to the Radisson Blu in Sandton yesterday....

How to lose friends and not pick up chicks on a dancefloor!

One of our most loyal readers, Cocobutton, sent in the following images, documenting my escapades from the Durban July. *Warning*  the below images have been known to clear dancefloors and reduce...

Paradise in almost-springtime

August in Joziwood, for those of you who don’t know, is a bitchin’ month. It’s ‘almost-springtime’ because Winter still clutches at straws and throws out the occasional...

Philip – he is back!

It’s been exactly one month since we removed the paint from our FACES and Fifania™ was restored to its rightful ruler – Lord Jacob Zuma, and while naming rights for the Calabash are...

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